سلام آقای رحمان، من هنوز دارم می گویم...

Let’s suppose you are someone who’s been inspired by my mediocre writing skills and have decided “Hmm, this Tajikistan place sounds like an interesting locale, maybe I should learn something about it.” (NOTE: Yes, you should be doing this, especially if you haven’t already started.) If that was the case, you might’ve noticed this. Or, maybe if you’re even MORE astute, you've seen articles like this relating to things that aren't Facebook, but just as despotic.

(So if you’re reading this NOT because of the obviously absent Facebook update, feel free to spread it around, I don’t have many ways otherwise.)

I’ll admit, I wrote something along the lines of a three-page entry ‘praising’ H.E. Rahmon for “saving the population of Tajikistan from the dangers of free speech and Facebook.” It was blatantly farcical, and ended with something very undiplomatic, and a lot of words that I probably shouldn't publish, because A) If the Tajik authorities can actually see the negative things are posting about the government, I don’t want to give them an excuse to come after my host family, or the already embattled American Councils where I’ll likely be uploading this; and B)…

Reasoning B) is a lot longer than A, but makes a lot more sense. I’m not Tajik (shocking, I know). I can read and speak Tajiki about as well as the 6 year old in my host family, and I’m know she knows what’s going more often than I do. I’m going to be here until May, and then there’s a fair chance I’ll never come back to Tajikistan (NOTE: That is not due to a lack of a desire to come back, love this place. Just being realistic.) Yes, I have to deal with power outages, water outages, government censorship; the blatant attempt by the current president to create a cult of personality…the list honestly goes on. But after May, it’s not (directly at least) my problem anymore. I’ll be missing, among other things, the much reported October 2013 presidential elections, and the aftershocks when the US and friends "pulls out" of Afghanistan in 2014, but that’s neither here nor there.

There are over seven million people for whom this is everyday existence. Yes, there are people who think that Rahmon and his regime have kept Tajikistan permanently tethered to their dysfunctional pasts. But there are people who, to put it as it was paraphrased to me, are mad that “some stupid people said some dumb things about the president.” Tajikistan is a country like any other, there are those who are inherently political and involve themselves in any sort of civic injustice, and there are those who just want safety and affordable bread. And, as in most countries, that latter group is the majority.

After several attempts of writing this, I’m still at a loss for an end. Maybe (to use a ridiculously cheesy cliché I’m almost literally pulling out of my ass) it’s like Tajikistan, where there are many plausible futures, some of them good, some of them bad. At the end of the day, it’s not my job to choose an ending, because I'm just a guest, and I'm not the kind of person that can pick a future for a place that quite clearly isn't mine.

What is worth noting, and this is my first attempt being in a country where the government is blocking Facebook (my main outlet for contacting people back home), several news sites (which let me know what's going on in the region, and is also why I'm stuck with Yahoo! news), and of course, the power outages. And yeah, this might be life for people, but if you ever want to know what it feels like when the government is trying to isolate you from the outside world...this is a slightly terrifying start to a situation that could always get worse.

As always: Ташаккуру Худо ҳафез.